By Marie Cavasora (when initially launching this website three years ago) - Because words can hardly contain the innerdance at its essence, here is an unedited account by Pi Villaraza, which effectively lays out the foundation of Inner Dance and its profound meaning in our lives, at the time when it was truly coming to life. As many often ask, what is the source of the energy, this provides a kind of answer. Words written from within, when Pi, travelling inner dance facilitator was closest to source.
This was written three months before he was to first experience his most powerful inner dance process. It was about a year already of living in a deserted beach island in Palawan Province in the Philippines as a hermit on a coconut diet. Months after this was written, he would discover the innerdance process which spontaneously took over his body, mind and spirit. _________________________
I had been staying in the Beach for half a year. After a few days of fitful sleeplessness, I found myself writing ceaselessly for around two days straight in a way I have never written before. Knowledge from books I had read in the past, experiences I had undergone, and a strange but blissful oneness I rarely find seemed to be readily accessible at the black tip of a cheap pen a and a stack of yellow ruled pad. I did not know what was to come, this Inner Dance thing in front of us.
The date was 9/11/2005. I later sent the original pages off to Manila; incredibly, the writings found its way to my mother who had been searching for me for more than a year now after I left the matrix. Today, I am reading it again in Mindanao, as if a long-lost friend had written it.
Before I began to write, I had been fasting for some weeks, when a visitor arrived and I gave in to my craving cooked food, which I had been resisting for almost a year. Before then, when I was living on live enzymes only, I experienced pure bursts of overwhelming energy, then suddenly weakening to the point of immobility for days on end. I felt physically sated most of the time, not experiencing hunger for a few weeks, then suddenly, strong cravings for heavy food would take over me. Mentally, I was generally tranquil save for moments of restiveness and agitation during moments of intense emotional and bodily withdrawals.
By then, I had also managed to grow some simple vegetables in a garden that took the form of The Flower of Life, the fruits of which I consumed, raw: a few string beans and edible leaves. My main diet consisted of coconuts, and when I ate at all, it would be just one coconut a day.
Some pages are missing and some words have blurred over time, but most were preserved. I will try to reconstruct the text as it was written as fully as I possibly can, and to resist the urge to edit what I had to write then without computers or even electric lighting.
This is what happened to me on paper. Here is the text: __________________
This Kalipay food grows not for your survival
it grows for your growth.
As you now enter into another kind of world,
so are you entering into another kind of body.
Stop trying to hurry the process. To strive too hard
before readiness sets in, is like trying to shout
at your plants to hurry.
yet … that isn’t their nature. Nature takes its time,
Living not just in the moment, but also …
loving the unexpected. Loving the surprise
that takes form in the faces of those who
live lives without expectations.
Sometimes, as you yourself noticed, it is good to strive,
it is good to be constant in positive energy –
But sometimes, in all his trying, man tends to judge himself, maybe …
a tad bit too harshly. Too seriously.
Anything on Earth was created for a reason.
In moderation, all food have inherent in it,
them a purpose for being there, organic or synthetic.
Without many of them, man would not have achieved
the complexity that now characterizes his
immense societies and civilizations.
What is happening now is that you, like some before you,
and multitudes to follow, are choosing a way,
a path to a kind of evolutionary leap that doesn’t just
preserve and improve on the great creations
your race has manifested,
but to also inject in them,
a functionality, a simple and
harmonious way that you have dreamed of
for a long, long time now.
The path to this Hidden Harmony isn’t easy.
It can be quite uncomfortable, daunting many individuals
who seem to be much, much more qualified to achieve
what you are trying to achieve.
All persons existing on Earth at this very moment,
carry in them the sum total of all experiences
ever experienced by those souls who have come before them.
Everywhere you go, no matter what you do, a chance, big and infinitesimal
exists, where you may go up or down, left and right,
forward and backwards.
A part of you has control over this. A part that plants seeds,
waters the plants, and turns the compost.
The other half of you, the hidden and invisible half
can be said to be underground.
Or in the heart of the earth.
The first part is like your father, whom for now we will call
While the other part is like your mother,
Like most females who feel their way through their lives,
Mrs. Yin deals with growth through emotions.
For you, who like to rationalize everything, just like Mr. Yang,
this part of creation can be – and has been –
very unfamiliar territory.
It’s like being underground. Why, you ask?
Because up to now, you judge things based on what your eyes can see, what your fingers can touch, what your nose can smell, and what your ears hear.
There is a different kind of knowing that does not rely on what your senses
tell your brain to think. Also, a different kind of planting.
Whereas Mr. Yang sows seeds,
Mrs. Yin conceives.
It’s a vastly different world from your tendency to
think your way through life.
It takes much faith, to trust feelings. It’s literally
like living on another planet.
One isn’t more perfect than the other,
merely different ways of knowing things.
For a tree to mature, its branches will strive,
reaching upwards to capture the light.
Its roots are equally as important
obtaining water and nutrients.
Have you noticed this, in your own life?
The need to have both feet on the ground,
whenever both your eyes are on the heavens?
Just a few days ago, after fasting for so many days,
you felt clarity in mind a spirit.
Your body wasn’t that content, though.
It was weak.
So you gave in to its carving for cooked food.
Yet, did you notice how you didn’t feel weak this time,
upon giving into your cravings?
It was because of your tiredness.
You’re tired of judging what’s good for you, and what’s not.
It’s very good to give in sometimes,
before you start collecting negative energy again.
What’s the use of a live enzyme diet, when
you fill your body with destructive thoughts, anyway?
Instead of good and bad, try … what works and what doesn’t.
Instead of controlling your diet too much,
try SEEing what certain foods do to you.
Mr. Yang would say: “you are what you eat.”
Mrs. Yin would say: “you eat who you are.”
Both of them are correct.
But a more functional statement would be,
to listen to both your father and mother is more complete.
(I know that you cannot make a whole, “wholi-er,”
but that’s another lesson for a later time.)
To try to achieve an end by acting out the means
without seeing what the act and the end means,
is like … how do I put this …
It’s like almost everything being done on Earth
Mankind lives on a tree, a gargantuan tree
whose branches, kept branching out further and further,
until its once playful inhabitants got lost in
separate innumerable branches,
not knowing how to get back to the ground.
Its roots, too, have spread and diverged into so many complex ways
that those who live below ground cannot dig their way back up.
Most of those who are lost believed,
for a very long time now,
that the branch or root
they live in is the
or only branch
or only root
on The Tree of Life.
And some of Those who realize
that they live not on a branch or root
but on a tree that is rooted and branches out, don’t even see the forest yet.
There’s a harmonious way to go back to the center of The Tree of Life
that will allow you to find your way to other branches
without losing your way again.
It’s very simple.
With all your ears. All three of them.
Two can be found on your head. Your third EAR
is at the heart of your hEARt. Your first two
are good for listening.
The EAR of your hEARt
is there only for hearing.
Or better yet,
only for here-ing.
Can you hear me yet?
Are you here now?
The way to go back to the center of the tree, is to hear
the first and last truth. This is all you need to know.
The word, “HEART,” as you should by now know, is made up
of the same elements as the word “EARTH.” For this moment
of mankind’s stay on this planet, the way to the center
or better yet,
the center itself, is at the HEART of the EARTH.
Why only this moment?
Because that’s where mankind buried, in thinking his way through life,
Womankind. In his striving, in getting list in the branches of his
sciences, commerce, politics, and other parts of the male
-driven myth, he forgot his other half;
His scientific and aggressive half forgot that at the HEART of the EARTH,
The Art of Living
had to give way to the science of living.
It doesn’t apply to all, of course. We’re speaking of society
in a generalized sense, like how you would view … a matrix.
Thinking and feeling,
science, art, religion, education, history, culture, any idea ever created
is not more perfect that the other.
This is a very necessary point
at this particular point
It’s about time to see the tree as a whole, before you get lost
in one of the branches again.
Can you hear me now?
Are you here?
Breathe in. Out.
We’re about to jump to an even bigger scale.
Imagine if the Tree of Life is the planet you live on.
Whatever is left of it, anyhow.
The Heart of the Earth is commonly believed to be its core,
that boiling magma that erupts in volcanic pops once in a while.
It’s everywhere, walking around bumping into each other
without smiling or saying hi.
That’s because the heart of the EARTH is also
The HEART of MAN.
Here’s a more complete picture.
The HEART of the EARTH
and the HEART of MAN
The HEART of GOD.
Let me give you an even clearer view of the forest.
The HEART of the EARTH, MAN, and GOD are also
The HEARTS of aardvarks, ants, antelopes, nuthatches, nautilus seashells, germs, blue-green algae, rocking chairs, martians, asteroids, Superman, Hydrogen atoms, The Flying Dutchman, the word “obsequious,” the Grim Reaper, and floating spirits.
The HEART is the center, the core, the crux of a thing,
But it could also pertain to the essence, the soul, the very fibre of things.
A mustard seed.
A mustard tree.
A hundred mustard seeds.
A hundred mustard trees.
Ten Thousand mustard seeds.
A mustard forest. In only three cycles.
Now, the seed is the heart of a thing.
It contains not just the grand design of the Tree of Life.
That tiny seed you can hardly even see contains inside it,
The potential of a forest so large that you wouldn’t have time to explore it
in a hundred lifetimes.
You yourself came from a seed your naked eye can’t see.
You contained all that potential, yet you also had the potential not to be.
But you ARE. Look at you now. Trillions of cells born every second.
Can you hear me?
Can you see?
See the seeds within.
The seeds within the seed.
The Seed of Life is the DNA, it its physical manifestation.
Here’s a question you should be thinking by now.
Is it your DNA that defines who you are?
Is it you who have the power to define your DNA?
Don’t let your mind do all the seeing, all the listening.
Give it a moment.
Who are you, really?
Just what in the world are you? Really?
If you gathered all your missing parts,
if you find a way to your whole-iest self,
harmonizing all of you, all your potentials
contained not just in everything you’ve experienced
in all of your lives, nut in those of others as well,
- that’s if you believe you have access to them –
WHAT WOULD THE WORLD BE LIKE?
What would your life then be like?
Give it a moment.
You are the creator, Mr. Yang, sower of seeds.
You are the conceiver, Mrs. Yin, grower of the Tree if Life.
Are you big enough to find your way back
to your first parents?
The roots are very, very deep.
To survive the journey takes
A gargantuan amount of energy.
You have many leaves on this stack of yellow paper.
Lots of ink left in that pen.
Are you big enough?
Are you ready? Rest for a second.
It all seems so simple, doesn’t it?
Like, it applies to everything, yet …
as if it applies to nothing at all.
It’s partly like we’re going places,
but partly as if we’re going in circles.
This is because the Tree of Life is everything and nothing.
It is everywhere, every speck of inner and outer space;
And all those in it?
Well, they’re all going in circles.
Or, a finer way to put it, cycles.
The Tree of Life
The Cycle of Life.
Everything is turning into Nothing.
Nothing is turning into Everything.
Can you hear? Are you here?
Tarzan was making his way up to the treehouse, looking for Jane. He can’t find her. Up, up, higher and higher, he goes, until he comes upon …
(some versions of the story will have Jane forcing the fruit into his mouth).
But this one’s different.
It isn’t the history of the Cycle of Life.
Neither is it the herstory of the Cycle of Life.
It’s only a story. A simple one, concerning two people,
Primal Dad, and Primal Mum.
So anyway, Mr. Yang, err, I mean, Tarzan alights upon the Fruit of Life.
Crunch! Yum Yum.
It’s good. In fact, it’s very good. Exactly what one would expect from the Fruit of Life.
More! More, he wants, his stomach urging him on.
And so, he strives, creating a life patter aimed only at living a fruitful, successful, profitable, productive life.
Or more likely,
The end of the beginning.
Evening falls. Tarzan finds Jane on a branch. She is staring.
Staring. He ambles his way for a closer look.
She is staring at a Flower.
“Ugh, Ugh!” Tarzan perspicaciously articulates. By now, he has invented
the double-breasted Armani and the alligator-skinned attaché case he is now
opening to take out patent application papers, insurance forms, contracts, in case this curious object proves to be instrumental in gaining for him more success in his impressive existence on this big Tree.
She is staring at the Flower.
She is smiling.
Surely something worth being this idle, this languid, torpid about must be worth
something. Especially with more success zipping past Tarzan’s nose since by this time, it doesn’t take him long to
“Ugh, Ugh – Ugh-Hug-Guh!”
The beginning of the end.
Looking closer at the branch, you would notice that the branch, umm, branches out.
So do the roots. Just looking at the leaves will reveal the same branching out pattern.
It would take a genius, or an imbecile,
a saintly monk to subsist on this Earth
without losing one’s center here.
You yourself, a good 200km away from the next mall, living on a deserted
beach island with 2 dogs and a cat,
doing nothing save for playing scrabble with yourself
Planting a garden at the Heart of the Earth,
with your Robinson Crusoe existence, you yourself
fall out of sync, out of harmony with the small amount of distractions
this Garden of Eden contains. Your choices are much simpler than
those who live in rat-race, DOG-eat-DOG environs.
Yet, you too fall out of sync.
You too, ask:
To be fruitful?
Or to flower?
That is the question.
Where did you get lost?
At which part of the Tree?
What happened to you?
To all of you?
Stop writing. Rest again.
Let’s go back to the beginning.
The beginning of what?
Let’s go back to the beginning of the end, the same spot
we’re bound to find the end of the beginning
of the eternal cycle of life.
Where is that, you ask?
You know there was something missing in the Tree of Life story.
Let’s go back to the time of the serpent.
In ancient Egypt, the palin-genesis symbol is
a serpent eating its own tail,
forming that shape called, the circle.
Of course, snakes wouldn’t really do that. Dogs to that, though they
never really got around to actually catching it.
Now, looking through the cosmic mirror, the word
The cycle of life becomes clearer, when you experience everything in between what it means to actualize your canine or your divine potential.
Between DOG and GOD is the Letter
The Cycle of Life.
Notice the ever-popular Zen koan,
“Does a dod have a Buddha nature?”
Yes of no?
Those unfamiliar with Zen Buddhism would think about it. I would, and I would think and think, and keep on thinking until I found an answer, if I didn’t know that Zen Buddhists would say neither. That’s because they have a third word, other than yes or no.
It means what it means. Not yes, not no.
It’s a tool they commonly use to silence the mind.
A more sublime explanation is that the question asked is too small, too pathetic
to contain what is a truth too big, too awesome, too infinite
to fit inside a box.
- I’ve been here in Kalipay Beach for almost six months now.
Ironically, I think today is September 11, 2005, the day two towers fell.
- I’ve learned many things since I’ve stepped off the boat, on my first day here.
I look at myself now, and wow, how different I am now. And then,
I look again.
I’m still the same person who just stepped off that boat.
“What does the boat say to you?”
- Well, literally, it has a big sign on the side painted, KALIPAY MU.
“What does that mean for you?”
- Literally? Kalipay means happiness, Mu means “my” in the Philippines.
“Are you happy?”
- YES. Yes and no. I’m content. I’m on the way to becoming happier, that I can feel
I’m headed somewhere good. I wouldn’t be here if not for that belief. It feels lonely sometimes. People come for a short time, and it’s nice. They leave, and it’s still nice and peaceful. I still crave for electricity and food, but very little now, compared to before.
“Kalipay is a Visayan word. In your own dialect, what would be a more exact translation of Happiness?”
- Well, masaya. There’s also “maligaya.” Is there a difference?
“What do you think?”
- I think “masaya” is short-term. Like eating a candy bar and the next minute, it’s gone. Maligaya sounds more like “joyful.” Like being in this beach, which I’ve always yearned for. It’s more lasting.
“What is this beach to you?”
- Well, if I was a machine, I would automatically answer, “paradise,” just what Richard said in the Alex Garland book, The Beach.
“Like the Garden of Eden?”
- Like the Beach of Eden, with an organic garden in it. I think a lot of people in this day and age see this kind of life as the closest current view of paradise, a return to the natural way of doing things.
Why is that?
“MU means, ask again, rethink your question, see things differently,
Without splitting hairs.
MU is an arrow pointing to your divine potential,
An arrow pointing at GOD who lives outside of yes or no.
When you started to write these pages, you were in a state of MU
Allowing you access to a part of yourself that was hidden
That was buried in your heart. You gave EAR to your HEART.
You’re here now. Is there anything you want to ask me?”
- So if you’re MU, who am I?
“MU stands for many things. So do you. For now, MU stands for
I M. U.
I am you.
Mu stands for me and you. MU.
I am you, living your divine potential.
I am you, in oneness with GOD in you.
The answer to your query then can be found in a few eloquent words by Aldous
Huxley: “To every DOG, every man is GOD.”
The letters that sandwich the letter “O” are significant, as we shall tackle later.
For now, it is enough for you to know that you were once chasing your own tail,
And now, you have caught it, or maybe better, “caught up with it.
Your tail is a serpent stuck to your rear. It is what keeps you running around
In circles, chasing Me. You don’t need to chase me.”
- So, I’m a DOG and you are GOD?
“You are whatever you choose yourself to be.
You are yes, no, or MU.
You are D,G, or O.
Do not find yourself getting stuck in circles, lost in branches again.
Find your way to your center, find a way to the Tree.
Find your way to stay centered, even as you choose to explore the Tree.
It isn’t difficult to connect to a source of life that isn’t easily broken.
Simply, find your way to ME.
Notice how many movies, photographic images and even written stories are set in
the beach, the Hallmark-Kodak moment being sunset.”
- Yes, I’ve noticed it, but more on a personal level. I don’t have to see it in a movie, or a cheap poster, it’s imprinted on my mind as symbolic of that pure happy moment.
“It is symbolic. In your world that is fraught with choices, the beach during
Connotes oneness. It is in the middle of everything, time and space.
The beach is the mid-point between water and earth.
The sunset is the mid-point between light and dark.”
- You’re right. But not everyone can be at the beach all the time. And it’s sunrise and sunset for a few minutes every day, that’s if it’s not cloudy or raining.
“Within you exists light and dark, water and earth, fire and air. No matter where
you are or what time it is. Your happiness, your true happiness will come with the realization that Kalipay beach rests inside your heart.
True happiness lies in whether your Kalipay rests on MU.”
-How do I manage to do that all the time, no matter where I am?
“You don’t do it. It’s a matter of being in it. I understand the difficulty in this. This is where most of you get tangled up, on your way to me. Let’s trace our way back to the time and place of the great split.”
-Sounds good to me.
“In the beginning of the Biblical Genesis was to Void. Out of this nothingness, a
voice hollered, ‘Turn the Lights On!’ The Hindus called first Matter, ‘UM,’ or MU reversed. Now, your parents taught you not to be selfish, whether you start acting like you are the center of the universe, of all existence. What could you do? Whenever you go to sleep, the universe ends. When you awaken, BANG, life begins. The split in question, is life itself. To live in absolute MU is to go back to UM, absolute darkness, or in some cultures, absolute light. The EARTH, as you know it, could only be created in duality.”
- So technically, I’m always in the middle then? Of UM and MU?
“The middle is a relative concept. It is arbitrary. It is always moving, depending
on the choices that you make. It depends on Who You Are Choosing To Be.”
- Given how many choices are available, that’s not as easy as it sounds.
“It’s not about what is easy or hard. It’s not about judging anything. To see into things, truly see into things, is to see beyond choices. Let’s look at an example. Look at the beach cove fronting Kalipay. It is a mountain range that looks like a sleeping dragon. The dragon, people say, is mythical. It is the middle of everything, like everything else. Look at it. See it?
The dragon is both the serpent and the eagle in one.
It is the meeting point of the two states of consciousness, the higher state and the lower.
In Egypt, the Eye of Horus is sandwiched by the vulture and the cobra.
In Peru, the condor and the rattlesnake, and between them is the puma.
For American Indians, usually the rattlesnake and eagle flanking the mountain lion.
In Tibet, the pig is in the middle of the chicken and snake. And so on.
- I’m loving this. I was born in the year 1976, a fire dragon year. So the trick is to be the dragon, or is it the higher state, the eagle?
“The key word here is, ‘relationship.’ The key question is,
‘what is the point in all this?’
The universe began in oneness. One point and pointlessness, complete unto itself.
It is bow made up of infinite parts, moving around in circles. Life, simplified is polar. Hot, Cold; Male, Female; East, West; Up, Down, etc.
So one point becomes two.
Which used to be, one point.
What you may symbolize as the circle.
The two points, meeting, is called a line, symbolizing the tension of duality, each point pushing, or tending life leftwards or rightwards, creating a ‘relationship.’
The reality contained in the circle is full of crisscrossing lines. Within this
geometrical framework, MU state depends on whether you manage to define the relationship between polarities, while maintaining your center, viewing A and B as points at the edges of the circle through the points of MU, the center.
In mathematical terms, the relationship of the line to the circle is Pi, or 3.14. Pi stands for many things.
P.I. stands for the Philippine Islands.
P.I. stands for Putang Ina, signifying the bastardized mother we earlier talked about.
Pi is the 16th letter of the Greek alphabet, their letter ‘P.”
We’ll talk about the other meanings of Pi later, but for now, let’s focus on the last mentioned, and the Chinese definition of Pi.
Pi is a Chinese Tai Chi form and Hexagram meaning, ‘be still’ or ‘don’t move.’ Let’s look at the symbol again. (figure drawn)
You’ll find this in the microcosm and the macrocosm, where each point of creation is circling around a center. In the cosmic sense, the moon around the Earth, around the Sun, around the galaxy, around the Universe. In the quantum sense, it’s the quarks, around the nucleus, the atom, the electrons, the cell, and so on.
The dynamic relationship seems orbital, when there are actually unseen forces that pushes or pulls a point towards or away from the center. Galaxies like the Milky Way make this evident, represented by the spiral. The spiral represents naught else, but movement. The process in which the points in all creation flow inward and outward the hearts or essence of the entire universe.
The process is slow. It is very slow for most of you, save for those miracle workers who manage to evolve to the point where they can manipulate or move energy from within and without. How?
The key word, as I already mentioned, is ‘relationship.’
To relate to any other point requires centering. Centering means finding who one truly is, choosing that point as his heart, and thus, discovering that all things, all points related, are one, and more importantly, all points contain the center of all created things.
Because the process inwards or outwards is hardly noticed by some, especially by those who live machine-like lives ruled by routines and habits, an illusion of security and stasis pervades.
Your popular culture calls this the Matrix, whereas the Hindus and Buddhists call it Maya.
For Buddhists, Maya is the world of Illusion.
For Hindus, Maya is the magic spell entrancing man who plays a part in a very elaborate play.
Whereas Pi in Chinese connotes a point circling around the nucleus, it signifies the part of a whole having to be stuck in the experience of being separated from wholeness.
The play is a grand production, so real and intense, that it takes great
energy to keep it turning. Electrons, for instance, of the most
complex elements, revolve farther away from the nucleus,
requiring more energy to hold it together as
compared to a single Hydrogen electron.
You’re currently taking part in a play that is about to take a twist in the plot. It has done this twisting and turning many times before, sometimes earth-shaking, and often, unnoticeable.
The explains the life-changing experiences you had to undergo.
The points inside you are changing, just as you, a part or a point in your own
society, are about to change a bigger whole.
You once jumped from MU to Pi. Let’s look at Genesis, Pied. If Pi is 3.14, what
does Genesis 3:14 say?
- “So the Lord God said to the serpent: ‘because you have done this, you are cursed … on your belly you shall go, and you shall eat dust all the days of your life.’ – Genesis 3:14
What does that mean?
“The key words here are belly, eat and dust. And – serpent. Centuries before the Old Testament was written, a Babylonian epic describes the hero Gilgamesh who finds the Tree of Life. He finds it, but before he tastes it, a serpent jumps out of nowhere and grabs the fruit from Gilgamesh.”
- Which is the opposite of the Old Testament version, huh?
“The fruit of Life is more than symbolic. Anthropologists have found out since the early 1970’s that early man’s diet consisted of only fruits. Notice how the first characters in the Old Testament lived up to almost a thousand years.”
- So what you’re saying is that life was different then?
“Life like Heraclitus’ River of Life is always different. It is never the same river, never the same life, just as you’re never the same person.”
- What does this have to do with Mu and Pi?
“Good. You’re starting to see in a wider perspective. Pi stands for the Philippine Islands. On Palawan where you are now, people call each other ‘pai.’ Filipinos as a whole call each other ‘Juan de la Cruz.’ In English, which is …?”
- John of the Cross. So?
“Read me The Book of John, Pied.”
- “And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up” – John 3:14.
“What does John and Genesis, Pied, have in common?
- Serpent. Genesis cursed the serpent to live by his belly, on the ground. John did the opposite. Yes, that kind of connects.
“Moses was mentioned. Let’s try Exodus Pied.”
- “and God said to Moses, ‘I AM Who I AM.’ – Exodus 3:14
“Thank you. Now, apart from this being the name of God, the exact translation of the Hebrew text is actually, “I AM Who I AM Becoming.”
- What do the three passages mean?
“I think you know.”
- For now, I’m just looking at the connections. Man must go to the basics to transcend the serpent, be the eagle?
“Close, but we can do much better. Relate all this to experience.”
- I did most of my walking in Mindanao. Its ancient name was Ma-I.
“Okay, which is I AM, reversed. And?”
- It’s the home of the Philippine Eagle, our national bird. The old one was the Maya.
“Which is Ayam, reversed. And?”
- Well, Moses found God in a mountain. The highest peak in the Philippines is in Ma-I, and this is where most of the eagles are based. OK, lemme see. The serpent, cursed on his belly. Moses, fresh from Egypt, slavery, big city and all, climbs the mountain and meets God. His walking stick becomes a snake. He frees his buddies from bondage, Jesus acting as the symbol of the eagle in flight. He who spent 40 days (like Moses) in the wilderness, where Maya is reversed. How’s that?
“Notice how we are working with symbols. All of life, as you have noticed, ultimately converges in beautiful symmetry through the most basic symbols. For instance, notice how all our elements begin with the same letters. The letter M, for instance. In Greek, M is MU or µ.
It is the 12th letter in the Greek alphabet, whereas
Pi or ¶
Is the 16th letter in the Greek alphabet.
Here’s a new element I would like to put in. Kali, purportedly the oldest spirit to inhabit the Earth. Symbolizing the mother goddess, the creator and destroyer of life, she also completes the equations these pages are to unravel.
The beach you’re in is called Kalipay Mu, or
Kali-¶-µ. Your happiness.
It is Kali’s journey from ¶ to µ.
Mu is the name of the lost continent submerged in the Pacific. Many of your country’s history books claim the Philippine Islands as the remnants of Mu. The islands scattered, all 7,107 of them represent the parts, separated. While the idea of the continent represents the whole.
Mu is the origin of life. It is no coincidence that the owner of this beach painted that sign on the boat in tribute to the monkeys that were plentiful there just a few years ago. Up to now, you canhear some of them in the early morning and on some sunsets. – ‘Mu,’ they remind you of your ancestry.”
- I thought only cows went ‘Moo!’ It did unravel in such an incontrovertible manner. I
was just reading Cerve’s Lemuria. Which talked about two interesting things. That early legends in Northern California spoke of an island ruled by a Queen Kalifa near the Garden of Eden . In the vicinity of those parts is an island, oops, no, a mountain named Mt. Mu-Pi. How does that connect?
“You have to be patient. Any teaching worth its salt circle around the elusive point for a reason. One of the reasons you would understand is that true inner reality cannot be expressed in words.
But we’ve let loose quite a lot of elements which will have to get tied up before we stretch things even further.
- Can you help me summarize before we move on.
“My idea is to let some of your experiences do the weaving.”
- I’m hesitant but willing. I may as well jump to the big one that almost ties all of these together.
“My advice for you is to take it slowly. There’s still plenty of pages left in that pad, plenty of ink left in that pen.”
- I was living in Los Angeles having moved from San Francisco, after quitting a good-paying job in an investment firm. Everyday it would call me from the house where I was rooming; the mountain called San Gabriel. It was too far, and too crazy a journey. I had no cash, no car, and almost a 100 mile walk. No way.
But the voice called. So I waited.
One morning, it was unmistakable. I had to surrender. The voice said someone’s out there, looking for me. My compromise was to go out on my regular jog at the local school track. After 20 minutes, I headed for home, still sleepy, feeling sheepish. A Mexican was by the road holding a map, looking at me, searching for something in my face.
I stopped. His first words were,
“I’m trying to find the mountains but I can’t find my way.”
I blurted out, “I think I’m supposed to show you.”
Bang! Seven words blurted out, and a whirlwind just sucked me into this strangeness. It was then unfathomable, yet it felt so natural.
I jumped into this total stranger’s car. I told him to pas by my house in West Covina to pick up a book and my wallet.
Here are some of the very few snippets remember of the hazy conversation we had inside that car. It happened in 2002 so some of it’s quite hazy in my mind.:
- “I go up to the mountain to look for my father whenever I feel lost,” he offers.
I didn’t know what to say to that.
-Here’s an interesting one: “Every time I need help (remembering), I took this man up the mountain. Every time he needed my help, I take him up. But this is the last time we have to do this,” he said.
It was about that time when my surroundings suddenly changed. Like I was in the car but not in the car. Like I was the wind, the trees and everything else, but still me. It was just absolute oneness. All this while riding the car of a total stranger headed to the unknown.
- “we’re going to walk,” he announced. But we were driving upwards, so I didn’t believe it when he said that. It was still early in the morning and more than a bit chilly, a cold December. We had probably been driving for around 30 to 40 minutes by then.
- The roadblock. I remember it well. From out of nowhere. We stepped out. His first question was : “Are you sure you’re ready to do this?”
- What would you do? I said “yes, I’ve been waiting for this my whole life. I’ve come so far.”
- He answered, “even if there’s a chance we won’t make it back down anymore?”
He opens the trunk, takes out two jackets. And a Bible. He tells me he marked something in it and he thinks it’s for me.
- The 11-hour walk began. He began with the Bible passage. Isaiah 2:2-5:
“Now it shall come to pass in the latter days that the mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established on the top of the mountains and shall be exalted over the hills, and all nations shall stream towards it
Many peoples shall come and say, ‘Come, and let us go up to the Mountain of the Lord; He will teach us his ways and we shall walk in his path.’ From out of Zion shall instructions go forth and the Word. He shall judge between nations and rebuke many peoples; they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore.
O House of Jacob, come and let us walk into the Light of the Lord.”
- Isaiah 2:2-5
Then he proceeded to tell me about things yet to come. About people I shall meet, things I will show them. Walks I would walk. He told me a bit about my past, but more than enough to make me a believer that he was looking through my sould. He told me about my past lives and this current one.
Now, most of what he predicted would happen to me had already happened, whilst some are happening as we speak. I don’t want to have to re-tell an entire 11-hour journey which I can’t recall entirely, but the gist of it is I find myself incredulous that it never really happened at all. It was four years ago, yet the repercussion and effects of having to live through a strange series of events, that one being only the first of many, many yet to follow, were tremendous. I know the great changes you’ve been whispering to me, Mu. I’ve been living through them. Now that you’re asking me to reflect on some which led to hardships I had to undergo is, I think, unsettling.
“Breath slowly, my friend. Where are you taking me?
Wherefore are you taking us?
- I thought you were the one leading me on?
“I can’t lead you anywhere if I’m already where I’m supposed to be.
I AM where you came from,
I AM where you are headed.
Your true HOME.”
- Okay. Sorry about the outburst.
“One, I cannot forgive what I do not judge.
I don’t judge you, Pi.
Your so-called outburst is neither right nor wrong.
It is an expression. It’s about time you released your trapped energies.
It’s a process called healing. A cleaning of mind, of body, and soul.
Express what was repressed.
Throw out the garbage.
Release yourself from bondage.
See yourself in my image … and likeness.
- I like that … “image and likeness.” What do you look like?
“‘My image?’ I AM AGE.
I’m the old Man on the Mountain.
I am the new born infant.
Take your pick.”
Here is a good example based on the book you are just now reading. Turn to page 222 in that book, Lemuria. Now, the last few lines describe the island ruled by Queen Kalifa near the terrestrial paradise, near Garden of Eden. – Lemuria, p.222
Now, jump to those same numbers again, this time going to The Book of Revelations 2:22 by John of Patmos.
‘In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the Tree of Life, which bore 12 fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. – Revelations, 2:22
- I find that part so significant. We haven’t even touched on the mystical legends of Kalipay yet. This is as good a place as any to start. I’ve managed to collect as many of the sightings and dreams guests and caretakers have experienced here in the past. Most of them, sighted and dreamt by individuals who’ve never met each other, concerning tall, foreign-looking beings wearing white robes, all of them with white and very long flowing hair. They speak of a human evolution on an individual basis, inviting guests to ascend the mountain.
One of the recurrent patters has to do with a street, strangely enough located right where the river is, which you just quoted John speaks of in Revelations. Plus, there’s that numbe 12 again, MU, being the 12th letter. And lastly, Cerve’s descriptions of supposed MU sightings in Northern California in the 1900’s are exactly the same as in Kalipay. It’s a long way from Palawan to California, isn’t it?
“We have a long way to go, amigo. Are you tired?”
- No. Just help me with the oneness parts.
“Why don’t you start with what you have for now.
I’ll help you gather up the missing pieces.”
- Well, the owner of this beach is Carmen. From San Francisco. She’s Filipina by blood. San Francisco is near where MU used to be, according to Cerve.
The guy who took me up the mountain is called Francisco. What else? The first painting I did here, without realizing what both words meant, was a sign that said MU Clockworks. MU I got from the boat and the monkey.
Clockworks, I later realized, refer to the American Indians who survived the Great San Francisco Earthquake. They later created the Clockworks Burrows, a labyrinth within the Heart of the Earth to predict the next big one, sometime before or after the millennium. Lastly, I found late mystics in Ma-I who referred to a future awakening in the Philippines in the 1920’s. They found a “key” in San Francisco which they gave to a certain mystic named Maximo Guivernas who began a community in Mt. Apo during the 1950’s.
“The little mystery in your head can be unlocked with the divine feminine in mind.
You have Kali-Pi-Mu and
Mt. Mu-Pi in Kali-fornia.
In your language, Mu is the 2nd person possessive pronoun.
Niya is the 3rd person possessive pronoun.
Mu meaning “your.”
Niya meaning “his” or “her”
So Kali-Pi-Mu is Kali for you
Kali-for-niya is Kali for her.
The first connotes the journey from Pi to Mu
The second points at the journey from Mu to Pi.
It is the cycle of life Inwards and
Heart of the Earth.
It is right now, right here,
The end of the beginning and
The beginning of the end of the cycle.
- There’s that feeling again. Liker we’re going in circles.
As I understand it, you’re on both ends of the cycle?
“What do they call Palawan?”
- They call it the “Last Frontier.”
“The ‘Last Frontier’ is also the “last-front-tier,’ tier meaning ‘level.’ It is the level
where the last and front meets … for now.
You mentioned Alex Garland’s The Beach earlier.”
- Yes. It’s based in Thailand. But I read in the Lonely Planet’s South-East Asia on a Shoestring Edition that the actual inspiration for the book’s in Northern Palawan. A friend of mine also went to the cove where they shot the movie and it’s called Maya.
Garland’s next book is called The Tessaract. It’s set in the Philipppines.
“What is a Tessaract?”
- It’s the hypercube unraveled. It’s the 4th dimension, the level that comes after this one, in our supposed onward evolution.
I can’t explain it, it’s a bit complicated but I can draw it for you. It looks like this (figure drawn that looks like a cross with a line draw diagonally through the center):
“So it looks like a cross?”
- I guess. It’s like this, as far as I can tell. A line is one dimension (↔). A cross is two-dimensional (+). Our consciousness is currently circuited to see life in the 3rd dimension which looks like a cube. If we look back to the 2nd dimension, everything would look flat, like looking at a photograph. Most of reality as we know it still follows Newtonian Physics, Euclidean Geometry, and Aristotelian logic, even if the new quantum and relativity physics have theoretically broken down the laws of space-time and the differences between waves and particles.
During my own personal quest for truth, there were a few moments when I experienced what might have been the Tessaract. The first time was at the tail end of that long mountain walk with the Mexican. He fainted once and didn’t want to go on looking for the car we left out in the dark. We thought we were going in circles and were almost sure we were lost. He couldn’t walk anymore and I was so cold. There were no lights, there was snow all around us, and even I could hardly move my legs.
If we could not find the car, we were goners, it was so freezing with just the light jackets we got from Francisco’s car.
‘What happened then?”
- Well, you can imagine how much faith I developed by that 11th hour. Something happened. I let go of something, what was it?
“What was it, really? Take your time.
You’re in a beach with nothing else but time.”
- I don’t remember. When I let go of whatever it was, something inside me broke. Maya fell. I suddenly stopped seeing things the way they seemed to be. Like that scene in the Matrix when Neo died. There were One’s and Zero’s all around him, for me, everything was purely energy. It was a light that wasn’t exactly bright, it was just glowing everywhere you are looking at and aren’t looking at. A brilliance, a radiance that permeated everything in front of you, behind you, underneath and above. Even through you. Everything was made up of it, this primal matter. It felt like a supreme love, like I loved everything and everything loved me. Absolute bliss, even in the midst of possible death.
I found out that I could move that light within me and without me; not by will, but just by connecting to it. I sent Francisco that powerful feeling and then he stood up, walked, and strangely enough, a few meters away, the car was there.
“Now we’re getting somewhere. Focus on some words you mentioned: Love,
Light, then connect that to what you let go of.”
- Did I die? Like Neo?
“Do you remember what Jesus said in John 3:14? Jesus mentioned Moses, the wilderness, and the serpent that had to be lifted up. This passage was in fact an answer to a question asked by Nicodemus: ‘how can a man be born a second time when he is old?’ Jesus also once said, ‘he who loveth his life shall lose it, but he who hateth his life shall find eternal life’.”
- So I died, in a metaphorical way?
“A part of you did. In your language, Life is Buhay, Death is Kamatayan. What is at the heart of these two words?
- Give me a sec.
UHA is in the middle of the word bUHAy. Uha is a baby’s first cry, or first breath.
MATA is in the midst of kaMATAyan. In Filipino language, Mata is the eye, and also to awaken as in from sleep.
So death is the eye?
“‘Eye is a curious word. It sounds like ‘I.’ In the center of the eye, is the movable part. It is called the pupil,; like a student, it must be taught how to see properly. Ancient cultures in almost all the seven continent talk about the pineal gland in the brain which is supposedly atrophied from disuse and misuse as man’s energy descended into density. Another name for the pineal gland is the ‘third eye.’
Now what is the essence of the ‘eye?’ To explain this further, I need to bring up another geometric figure called the Vesica Piscis (figure drawn of two circles whose edges meet each other’s center). It can be found in ancient Greece, Egypt, Europe and some other parts of the world. When two circles meet at both their centers, there is a shared part that looks like an eye. That shared part is significant in explaining the relationship between two wholes. That only when they meet at their centers might they ‘see,’ beyond duality.
What is the essence of the eye? In a physical sense, it captures light. You said that’s what you saw. When something in you died, you began to see reality you’re your third eye. You saw light. You said you saw primal matter. What is primal matter. It is the heart of everything. You saw ME. I am the heart of EVERYTHING. You saw me … and you. We are the HEART of EVERYTHING. When you saw me and you, you saw MU. Mu is light. Centered light, light without shadows. Mu is love. Love in its truest form. Reverse Love, you get Evol. You saw Love, Evolved. Love, rEVOLving around LOVE. Notice that the Vesica Piscis is shaped like a leaf. A leaf’s essence is also to capture light. A plant is your parent before EVOLution created MEN and WOMEN. You became the Tree of Life, in the first moments of the world’s creativity.
For a moment, this particular moment, you must believe, you must be-live, you must be leaves.